Mom

•May 8, 2015 • Leave a Comment

My mom passed away 10 years 3 days ago. I was not with her then and just flew back to Iran for her funeral.
But, I’ve got to a point that I can see her footprint all over my life. During my worst nights while fighting with that SoB, cancer, I called her every night through excruciating pain, sometimes begging her to take me with her. I always felt her warm breath in my heart giving me hope that this shall pass too, and it did. Now that I’m running on the road to a healthier life, I’m remembering those moments with a smile and a few tears. I’m not a religious person or believing in ghosts. What I’m saying is that mothers plant love in children’s hearts and feed it with their love and hard work. Of course that love is going to stay with the child until the last day of his or her life. Although my mom has left the earth 10 years ago, she’s alive in my heart.
Mothers deserve much more than once a year recognition, and forgetting about their roles in the other 364 days.
I know how much my kids love their mom, this was just a reminder…

CANCER SURVIVOR

•April 11, 2015 • Leave a Comment

I have to update my blog tonight. Although I have been doing chores around the house since morning and I am dead tired, although it was a beautiful sunset but I didn’t step out to capture it. Mostly because, I think this is very laziness of mine not to update this blog. All my friends around the world only get the information about my health and how I’m doing, just via these pieces in some area of cyber world.

So first the good news: YOU CAN CALL ME A CANCER SURVIVOR! Yes, I survived it and kicked its butt (for now, we’ll have another scan in a few month to see it’s back.)

It’s been almost a year of fighting with an invisible enemy but gladly my family and my team were great and did whatever they could to help me, from my oncologist to her nurse, to the nurses in the infusion office, I owe the rest of my life to them and my guardian angel, Dr. Ehsan (my surgeon.)

Now, not so good news, I think this is the one that had made me the prisoner of my own house and of course shop.

Looks like during November a bubble of air has been manufactured right where the colon and rectum were joined after the surgery. Anyway, my surgeon requested a different kind of scan than the one I had on Thursday (which they couldn’t see any spot of cancer anywhere.) So they reached to that bubble with a very long needle and drew some fluid off of it. The result showed that there’s infection in my body and I had to go under 30 days of antibiotics (twice a day.)

For almost a week I did not feel any difference, but last couple of days I can feel it’s getting better, and that’s great news, especially for my family who have been observing my pain. We had some very ugly days, and I hope we passed those.

Till next time, Cheers!

The Life Goes On, as It Should!

•February 9, 2015 • Leave a Comment

To give you an update on my cancer fight, I finished my radiation and right now I’m in the chair getting my 10th cycle of chemo!
After this session is over, I will have two more to go, which means I should be done with this in four freaking weeks.
Last couple of weeks have not been so kind to me, my pain level sometimes going to the roof and pain killers have been falling short of killing the damn pain and left me screaming in the middle of the night. Gladly, we are not living in an apartment or condo and my wife had been on her business trips, so my screams have not bothered anyone.
On the other hand, I had very little to do in the shop and in general, that I was able to rest when it got so bad.
I kept my #365infocus alive and posted a photo everyday, although I used a few days old photos for couple of days.
A couple of weeks ago, it started with a very bad pain in my both legs, that has stopped my walking. After 5 days pain in the left leg was gone, but the right leg got worse to a point that its pain got worse than my bottom’s. So my doctor ordered scans and there it was, another blood clot in my right leg. So I’m back to Warfarin and have to see someone at ACC (Anti Coagulation Center) tomorrow.
There are a lot of questions in my mind with no answer to them. I don’t know where the pain comes from and what is the real source of it. I still think about people who have got cancer and they are in much worse situation than I am with a lot of pain.
I always think of myself as a lucky one, who got diagnosed with this illness early and for having one of the best insurances in the US, and for a great caring team at Overlake Hospital!

Just got some good news: my CEA marker (cancer marker) is back to NORMAL! YAY!

Untill next time!

Day and Night

•January 14, 2015 • 1 Comment

Every night,
When the universe finds its nasty dirty black cloth,
When the pain gets unbearable,
I wish I don’t wake up anymore,
But in the morning,
All the hope is back,
Hope to see my family one more time,
Hope to finish another project,
Hope to click one more time,
Hope to stay alive,
Even when I know the pain will be back.

PS. I wrote this couple of days ago,  since then my pain has been progressively coming down, thanks to the especial “Brownies” I had received, last two nights I have been sleeping like a baby, so “F” you, cancer! You can’t win this round!

For my #365infocus project!

•January 3, 2015 • 1 Comment

When the night falls down,
And you start screaming,
Moaning,
And cursing the God!
When you have too much pain that is beyond your imagination,
When you can’t even touch a sheet or blanket because your fingers are all cracked and cancer has taken advantage of your soft skin.
When you’re tired of all screaming, moaning and cursing God, tired of asking him to end this life,

You remember your family
You remember your jobs that need to be done,
You remember all the birds, flowers and scenes that have not shot yet

And you pull the blanket over your head and think about your next  #365infocus and fall asleep.

Yes, the life is still beautiful, no doubt!

Happy New Year 2015

•December 31, 2014 • 3 Comments

As we walk into the year 2015, I just wanted to drop a few line and tell my friends how grateful I am for being in my life.
I started the journey of battle with cancer, having no idea how many people are supporting me
with their messages, calls and mail.

To all of you a big Thank You!

As we walk into 2015, I have a big smile on my face, mostly because of what I just said,
regardless of being in pain for the last three weeks.
I am going to have a big smile, because of so many angels in my life, beginning with my
lovely wife, wonderful daughters, and my angel surgeon.
Also for the amazing oncology team
at the Overlake Hospital.
I am going to have a big smile because regardless of all treatments, I was able to meet every
single deadline in my cabinetry business!

Although I was not able to go to all instameets or flickr strolls, but I was able
to put a nice end to my #365infocus project.
As we walk into 2015, I want to have everyone have a big smile on their faces, because
there’s a guy in Bellevue who needs all the joy you can have, and love you with every cell of
his body, although it may be cancerous :-)­

Getting Closer To The End

•December 22, 2014 • 2 Comments

I am updating this blog from Overlake Hospital, where I am getting my 8th cycle of chemo which supposed to be my last one, but it got extended for another 4 sessions. That means I will be back here through February.
To tell you the truth, I didn’t have a good time over the past two weeks, I have been having problems with my digestive system, which has been making me to go to the bathroom frequently, some days up to 40 times. So my surgeon suggested that I get physical therapy, which I will be starting tomorrow. A few nights over the past couple of weeks, I have been screaming and cursing from the pain. Some nights I have been waking up every half an hour, sometimes  every 15 minutes, but I still do my morning walk every day. I have asked for sleeping pills and hopefully I will pick them up today after my treatment is over.
Work is still pretty good and I have been able to meet deadline after deadline.
Photography is going well too, I have less than 10 days to wrap up my 365infocus project. Not sure if we’ll have another one coming or not, but this year went pretty well.
I believe I am kicking its ass and these are its final shows it’s putting up.
Next week I will be starting my radiation for 5 sessions and hopefully we’ll get rid of the spots in the liver too.
I can’t wait to be able to donate blood again. It will be after a year of being cancer free :-)
Wishing you all Happy Holidays and a very Merry Christmas!
Cheers until next time :-)

PS. If you have seen the xfinity/scrouge commercial, it is my story, the part that the boy says: But wait, there is more! Yeah, while I am washing my hands, I have to go back! But wait, there’s more! Damn it :-)

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,505 other followers